Beginning Healthy Grief: How Do I Start?

Dear friend,

I am so sorry you are here. I wish I could sit with you in this moment and be a safe place as you ride the storm. Know that I am with you in spirit and you can reach out to me (Contact Me at the top) if you would like to share your story. It is an honor when people share their story with me. What a precious gift it is to hear someone’s most vulnerable, human moment. I do not take it lightly.

How do you begin healthy grief? Right here. Recognize that just being here, reading this blog, you are beginning your grief journey in a healthy way. This is a victory. Please give yourself some time to recognize and value this achievement.

Now, comes one of the hardest parts of your grief journey: writing your story.

As I started my grief journey, the first thing that kept popping up in my research was the need to write the story. This is your story. This is your most intimate thoughts and feelings from your personal trauma. My friend, this is where your former life changed and a new chapter began. This is that story you need to write to begin your healthy grief. My friend, this is the hardest story you will ever write. I can honestly say that I did not want to do this. I desperately wanted to skip to the end of these self-help books, to the place where I would be me again. But grief does not work like this. It has no time table. It is not linear. It tears you to the very foundations and requires a complete rebuild. This story, your story, surveys this new foundation to start the rebuild. My friend, this is painful, raw, emotional. It most likely will not feel good in the moment. How could it? It is reliving your worst nightmare over and over again as you write out all the details. Oh, it is so painful. BUT it also brings healing. It helps your mind start to process the event. Please, start your journey by writing your story. And then, please allow yourself to acknowledge your first step.

Thank you for allowing me to be with you today as you start your healthy grief. It is truly an honor to be a safe place.

Love, Denise

Challenge: Take some time today to write your story. Find a quiet spot, light a candle, get a box of Kleenex, do anything that will help you feel safe, and begin to write. Write as much detail as your remember. Write the sounds, the smells, the sights, anything you can think of. Do not worry about grammar. Do not judge your writing. This is for you and you only. I think of my story as a private moment with my daughter. That story will never be shared because it was meant only for Halia and I. Give yourselves breaks when it becomes overwhelming. It is okay. I took at least a week to finish my story. There is no time frame for this. The important part is continuing and picking it back up when you are ready. I know it can be very difficult so please be gentle with yourself. The only way to start to heal in a healthy was is to remove the band-aid covering the loss. My friend, write your story for you and start your healthy grief journey. And know that I and many others who have walked this path before you are thinking on you today.

Please seek professional help if you are experiencing symptoms of depression. You are not alone.

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