Perfection Shattered

When I began my journey to empower others through learning technology, my life was … perfect… honestly, it felt pretty perfect.  All my plans were happening just as I dreamed they would, everything seemed to just fall into place with no effort; I had everything I wanted.

This past year has been anything but perfect.  Honestly, it has been the most difficult year of my life.  I put Technically Denise on hold when I became pregnant with our third child, planned right on schedule.  I only had so much energy and had to prioritize what I could and couldn’t do… so Technically Denise had to be moved to the background for a bit, such is life.  I can handle a little bit of a curve ball!

Just as the fog was lifting from the pregnancy, tragedy struck our family: we lost the little girl we so loved and desired when I was 18 weeks pregnant.  My perfect world with perfect plans ended the day I saw the ultrasound of our little girl, Halia Corrine, so sweetly curled, perfectly still, within my abdomen.  I never knew tragedy or heartbreak until that day.  No longer did I care about any of my perfect plans… honestly, I didn’t care about anything.  I went into survival mode as every day became a struggle just to get out of bed.  I stripped my life to the bare basics; I no longer knew who I was.  When a deep trauma happens in your life, you are no longer “you”.  I had no idea that I would have to learn this new “Denise”: who was she and what were her values?  I started off so small, but as weeks turned into months, I began to know and love this new me.  I can admit that I am not the same person I was nor will I ever be, but I love the new me with all my scars.  This might mean I have more tears than before but the joys are so much greater than they used to be, and I have found new meaning and purpose.  Don’t get me wrong, I miss my little girl every single day without exception, but my love for life has grown ten-fold.

While healing from the physical trauma and the emotional trauma, I began to reevaluate my priorities and look through my old life to find what still had purpose and meaning to the new me.  After going through months of reflection, I decided it was time to start Technically Denise again.  The idea behind Technically Denise still holds a special place in my heart, and I want to keep helping others to empower themselves through technology.  I am still in the process of reflecting on my goals for this business, but it is here to stay.  Empowering others is so very important to me and I hope to keep inspiring and empowering you to: keep your dreams and passions alive no matter what; when you stumble, have the courage to start again; and give yourself the grace to be proud of how far you have come no matter where you are!  I am Technically Denise.

If you would like more information about healing after the loss of a child, please contact me.  You are not alone.

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